Rearview

I said I'd never go back there

I meant it when I left

But time can make a burning house

Look warmer from a distance

I remember all the laughter

Forget what came behind

Funny how the things that hurt us

Get prettier with time

Maybe that's why You said keep moving

Don't stop to watch it fall

Some things only lose their power

When you leave them all

But I keep checking the rearview

Like there's something there I need

I forget about the smoke

And only think about the heat

I know exactly where that road goes

Still I slow down at the turn

I keep looking back at ashes

Like I miss the way they burned

I thought once I crossed the city line

The wanting would be gone

Like freedom was a doorway

I could walk through and move on

But some habits know my address

Some old voices know my name

And I've made promises in daylight

That I broke before the day changed

I used to think You'd count them

Every time I lost my way

But maybe grace is less a tally

More a hand that points ahead

Still I keep checking the rearview

Like there's something there I need

I forget about the smoke

And only think about the heat

I know exactly where that road goes

Still I slow down at the turn

I keep looking back at ashes

Like I miss the way they burned

I thought one day You'd stop answering

When I came back ashamed

Thought You'd say, You knew the way out

Why'd you walk back in again?

But You never ask me why

Before You help me to my feet

You just turn me toward the sunrise

And start walking next to me

So I'm learning not to live

With my eyes on what has been

Yeah, I still look over my shoulder

I'll probably do it again

But a glance is not forever

And a stumble's not defeat

If I wake up facing backwards

I can turn back toward Your feet

Maybe leaving isn't something

You get right the first time

Maybe grace is being given

One more chance to face the light